As journalism is lauded for its efforts in a Trump world, it vies to be read, even by those whose outrage is sparked by shade being thrown at this divisive figure.
Resignations are called for, probes demanded. A fracas ensues, a kerfuffle even. It’s quite the dust-up. Five fast facts you need to know about the imbroglio are curated and cited.
I dislike the word “hub.” I won’t soft-pedal this, it vexes me.
Same with “tweak,” which Trump used Monday to refer to Canadian-American trade agreements that he will not tear up, though he likely won’t dial back on his relentless attacks on an embattled southern neighbour. (He has his dukes up. I don’t actually know what this means, probably something to do with cars or maybe bullfighting.)
Other words I decry: fashionista, sweet treat, fodder. As I mull them, they raise my ire and I rue their usage. I’d reach out to ask headline writers what they were thinking but I recoil lest they slam me.
Let’s double down, take a deep dive into why readers are averse to veering into mainstream media of yore. It will be a game-changer, even in print where these archaic words were devised. Language is resilient despite our attempts to level the playing field into a flatland of clichés. Here’s my take.
Shall I stop now? I’ll try.
The kind of words I laud, sorry, prefer, are the kind that English-speakers would use in conversation. Online sites that understand how to subliminally attract readers will not create barriers. Over here, they say, and one happily changes lanes.
But many media websites continue to use an olde worlde language. Readers don’t necessarily register that they have taken an off-ramp. But suddenly they have the sensation that they have actually driven the wrong way. They are in a place where normal conversational English isn’t spoken. Each time readers experience this, they feel unwelcome at some level and are less likely to return.
Journalism is fast and impermanent. It’s written in haste with a 3 p.m. deadline 10 minutes ago and it doesn’t work if it’s delivered with pomposity. At their best, Brits write with cleverness and Americans with casual ease. The British media have done a better job than have the Americans at translating English from Faux Literary to Spoken Word. I can’t speak for Canadians but we’re all trying here.
The American is like sportswear — comfortable and a thing of beauty — so why don’t they use it in newspapers online? Bob Odenkirk, who plays scam artist Jimmy McGill in AMC’s Better Call Saul, is also a writer, his most recent book A Load of Hooey. No one handles the American demotic better. It flows like honey. No, that’s a cliché and a fake analogy. You don’t pour honey onto your toast. Odenkirk’s words flow like laundry detergent.
Online I could tell you how Slippin’ Jimmy tells a bingo crowd at a seniors home how he was once arrested for a public act known as the Chicago Sunroof. It is one of the strangest and funniest monologues I’ve ever seen performed. In print, I don’t know if it would be permitted.
When the “University” episode of The Sopranos — Ralph Cifaretto beats a young stripper to death in the Bada Bing parking lot — ran on HBO in April 2001, network TV knew it was finished unless it could compete with offering viewers that level of fake reality. One network sent the episode around head office asking what could be done.
Nothing, apparently. Cable won. It was better. With that lesson in mind, why is news still delivered so woodenly?
“World is suddener than we fancy it. World is crazier and more of it than we think,” wrote Louis MacNeice in his 1935 poem “Snow.” Journalism has to describe this world. Who’s rising to the challenge? Who isn’t?
The competition to see who can draw readers, if not advertising, will soon become a life struggle. If your headline on Trudeau disciplining a Trump handshake on the White House steps Monday didn’t include “yank,” “jerk” and a play-by-play analysis with reference to a 90-degree angle of arm, centre of gravity and the classic Hand Sandwich move, then it failed.
Here’s a test. Sean Spicer yesterday referred to Trump’s “incredibly productive set of meetings with PM Joe Trudeau of Canada.”
Write a headline, please. I wait agog.
hmallick@thestar.ca
hmallick@thestar.ca
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