There’s nothing more romantic than staying home and cooking for a loved one. A simple meal that shows off your skills and thoughtfulness is much more meaningful than ordering off a menu. The Star asked readers what they made for their significant others during their early stages of dating or as newlyweds. Here are a few of their stories.
From Lakshmi Kadambari, 67, Toronto
My husband was my brother’s friend and we knew each other for five years before we got married back in Hyderabad, India. When we got engaged I made him upma, a south Indian bread dish, because I had bread in the house and it’s a quick dish that he never had before. I learned how to make it from my mom and he still enjoys it today after 47 years of marriage!
We moved to Toronto 43 years ago and both love cooking and introducing our dishes to our friends and neighbours. Ghopal does the chopping and I do the cooking, but he also makes really good curry puffs. My husband also used to work at Sears and I would bring him lunch and we’d eat it in the cafeteria together. Now we’re both artists where he’ll draw and I’ll paint. We love doing things together.
From Benjamin Gleisser, 61, Toronto
Eleven years ago when I lived in Cleveland, I met Carolyn at a creative workshop and we had a long-distance relationship for about eight months. I bragged to her that I was a good cook and on her first visit, I told her to play Iron Chef: name one ingredient and I’d make an entrée with it. She said chocolate. I made her chicken breasts with a mole sauce. We married in 2007 and ironically, she has since given up chocolate and is now a vegetarian.
From Lisa Nagy, 51, Mississauga
I was sitting in the office of my financial planner figuring out what to do for the rest of my life. Three days before, my 23-year marriage ended in the most horrible way. I was devastated. I was crying so hard it’s a wonder I spoke at all. I asked my very nice planner, “How will I recognize kindness, I don’t even know what kindness is.”
He shared the story of his mother who lived through a similar hell to mine. After her divorce, she met my planner’s future stepdad and were married for more than 30 years. My planner then said, “Lisa, one day kindness will walk through the door and you’ll recognize it.”
Several months later I was at my first sleepover with my new love at his house. I’m a dedicated tea drinker and my boyfriend is a big coffee fan. He didn’t have a kettle to make tea, but it didn’t matter, I just boiled water in a saucepan.
In the meantime, he said he had to run out to the car to get something. Well, five minutes turned into 10, 10 turned into 20, 20 turned into 30. I’m wondering what the heck is going on when the front door opened and he walked in. He said, “I realized you didn’t have a kettle to make your tea. I can’t have you making your tea out of a saucepan.” He then unpacked a very nice kettle and made me a fabulous Indian chai as I thought to myself, “Kindness just walked in the door.”
From Irene Neal, 72, Guelph
I have to lovingly credit my dear mother with the cooking and baking skills she taught me when I was a teenager. Back in the 1960s when my future husband and I were young and going skating together at the local arena, and watching the latest movie at The Roxy, a Sunday dinner at home with my parents was always crowned with my mom’s homemade pie for dessert. Sometimes it was cherry, rhubarb or raspberry but usually it would be apple simply because we had a Duchess apple tree that gifted us with bushels of delicious red-striped beauties.
After one of my mom’s Sunday roasted beef dinners with all the trimmings and indulging in his second piece of pie, the love of my life didn’t stop complimenting the luscious flavour of the apple pie. It was a thrill to hear those accolades, because unbeknownst to him I made that pie with the hope that it would be almost as delicious as my mom’s.
I think this must have been the true test of him falling in love with me, not only as his sweetheart but also as someone who could satisfy his sweet tooth. After 50 years of wedded bliss, his favourite dessert is still my homemade, warm apple pie with a slice of sharp cheddar on the side.
From Mandy Johnson, 31, Toronto
When my common-law partner and I started dating, we would have what we called “From Scratch Nights,” which quickly became a favourite date night amidst our busy work schedules (I was a bartender and he worked nine-to-five).
On those nights we both hunted for special recipes online and once a recipe was chosen, we would purchase the necessary ingredients, which was a learning experience in itself. What is champagne vinegar, anyway? I’ve also never purchased so many fresh herbs in my life. Over the years, we tried our hands at pistachio-crusted salmon with basil and lemon pesto, Shepherd’s Pie and stuffed chicken.
In his small galley kitchen, we’d prep the ingredients and read the recipe aloud at least a dozen times. We would sit at the small countertop space, sipping wine and getting to know one another while checking the oven every 10 minutes and asking each other if it looks done. We loved our 10 p.m. date-night dinners — plated to perfection if we do say so ourselves — enjoyed on a candlelit table.
We’ve been together for almost seven years. Memories of those hours spent cooking a meal while sipping wine still bring us together. These days we cook several dinners a week, no longer in his itty bitty apartment kitchen, but in “our” kitchen. We still plan “From Scratch Nights,” although not as often as we would like.
From Nancy Alfred, 73, Scarborough
I met my husband when we went to the same college in Illinois in 1965. When I graduated, we moved to Canada and got married. His family is from Estonia, so I wanted to learn the language and pay attention to his customs — I have never even heard of Estonian when I met him. I never learned the language very well (maybe I should take lessons again) but I did learn to make rosolje, a traditional Estonian beet salad that his family made at Christmas.
He bought the right kind of salted herring and chopped up many of the ingredients: beets, apples, potatoes, meat, and pickles. We didn’t cook together a lot back then because I’d get home from work around six and he’d already started cooking. I realized at that point that he had good culinary skills. I was surprised, and maybe a bit envious because I never chopped as well as him. That was in 1967. We continued to make rosolje every Christmas and we plan on making it this July for our 50th wedding anniversary.
From Donalda Bridge, 80, Toronto
The first meal I made for my husband Roy was a TV dinner when I was 20. I took the dinners out of the freezer, read the instructions, turned on the oven and put them in. I picked up a magazine to read while they cooked. Eventually the timer went off and I took out the TV dinners, which still had frost on top. I didn’t realize you had to preheat the oven.
Roy never said anything about my mistake. He’s been very faithful complementing me about enjoying what I’ve made for us to eat. As the years passed, I’ve become a very good cook and have been given recipes from friends and relatives, and also bought a few cookbooks.
Roy and I have been married for 60 years since last November. Needless to say, I’ve learned to turn on the oven at the proper time and temperature.
From Karen Lang, 65, Toronto
First, I must point out that my dad loved my meat loaf. In fact, my whole family loved my meat loaf. So when I made it as a newlywed for my husband I expected a warm reception.
But my husband was surprised that I didn’t cover it with a tin of tomato soup like his mom did. He seemed mildly alarmed by my addition of several spices and herbs (his idea of exotic spices were salt and pepper). He was downright mystified by the garlic.
It wasn’t his momma’s meat loaf, which he professed to love, but I carried on, knowing that it would be his new favourite. I could not have been more wrong.
It seems that while I was cleaning up that night, he tried to flush the meat loaf down the toilet. When he realized that I was on to what he was doing (I think I may have screamed a little) he turned beet red and sort of laughed, but he kept shoving that meatloaf down! The toilet got completely stopped (luckily it didn’t overflow) so we had the superintendent come up with a plunger to our new apartment.
That happened in September 1970 when we were both 18 and remarkably we’re still together.
Say I Love You With Spaghetti
Oddly enough, spaghetti is a popular choice among lovers. Carol Taplin in Stouffville wrote that her husband Michael’s spaghetti sauce is the best in the city. “Michael made spaghetti with his famous sauce when we started dating and I remember thinking, ‘well, that’s nice that he’s making dinner but spaghetti? OK.’ However, when I tasted it I could not believe how amazing it was. I accepted his proposal shortly after — no, just kidding — but it wasn’t long after.”
This past summer Patricia Fox of Newmarket celebrated her 50th wedding anniversary with her husband, who made his signature spaghetti bolognese for her when they were young and both living at home in the suburbs of London, England. “One Saturday evening he took over my mother’s kitchen to cook for me,” she writes. “I had taken domestic science at school, but hadn’t progressed much further than sponge cake and jam tarts.” Now the two continue to cook (wine bottle close at hand, naturally) and have passed the love of cooking to their grandson.
Christine Edwards met her partner while stranded in a broken elevator in Toronto. After a few dates, he invited her over to his place and made a simple pasta dish with vegetables and sausages in a red-wine tomato sauce. “I missed choir rehearsal because we were so caught up in conversation,” she writes. “At the end of the night, he walked me to the subway stop, hugging me tightly before we parted ways. The smell of tomato sauce was still on his breath as he said goodbye.”
karonliu@thestar.ca
karonliu@thestar.ca
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