What more could you wish for in the New Year than love? However, even if this wish is on everyone’s lips, the question is what exactly are we talking about when we talk about love?
From a scientific point of view, love does not exist. It is first and foremost a concept that only exists in the conditioned minds of people who claim to experience it. Money, holidays, time, health, a nice car, these are desirable objective things that can be measured and quantified. But love? No.
In fact, we are mistaken in thinking that love is an observable, immutable and tangible reality. On the contrary, love is a subjective and personal experience that only has meaning in the minds of the people who claim to experience it. In other words, love is an act of faith. Like believers marked by an encounter with God, people who find love are convinced of the veracity of their experiences without being able to prove it objectively.
The paradox of love
It is clear that for a Cartesian mind, love is a subjective experience unique to each person. But what is even clearer is that despite its idiosyncratic character (i.e. particular predisposition which makes an individual react in a personal way to the influence of his experiences), love is an experience that is shared by all humans on earth. This is the paradox! How can such a personal and unique experience be at the same time common to all humans? It is beyond comprehension.
What is invisible to the eyes
Have you noticed how our lives are regulated by tangible and observable realities (ex. bank account, type of car, size of our house, etc.)? We are constantly solicited by external events that give meaning to our lives and temper our states of well-being. However, when we put our well-being in the hands of these tangible events, we only make ourselves fragile and insecure because our material possessions are themselves unstable, temporary and unpredictable.
Conversely, people who are used to opening up to the importance of hidden reality (such as a feeling of love), this immaterial reality invisible to the naked eye, realize that life only holds by a thread and that it is precious. They understand the importance of taking advantage of what they already have, of taking pleasure in the “little things” of everyday life, of living happy moments, far from conflicts and disputes over competitiveness.
They also understand the importance of bringing happy moments to those around them (the very essence of loving). This is the real meaning of life for them. In fact, these people have understood that everything that makes you happy is invisible to the eyes.
This is why we must learn to love in these times of New Year. It is to our advantage to better understand and appreciate this universe hidden within us. This unconscious universe regulated by our emotions which is the main source of our well-being. With that in mind, we can really wish each other love this holiday season, and beyond.
Frankie Bernèche, Ph.D.
psychology teacher
Cegep St-Jean-sur-Richelieu
