I Tried to Play a Game, and the Internet Tried to Kill Me
Look, I’m not some techno-peasant. I’ve been around the block. I remember dial-up. I’ve built PCs. I even know what a BIOS is. But last Tuesday, I hit a wall. A stupid, infuriating wall called “account verification”.
It started simple. I wanted to play Cyberpunk 2077 on a new console. Big mistake. Honestly, I should’ve known better. But no, I was gonna play my game, and nothing was gonna stop me. Famous last words.
Enter the Verification Vortex
First, it asked for my phone number. Fine. I gave it. Then it wanted a code. Cool, I’ll get it. But my phone’s dead. Okay, I’ll borrow one. But the code takes 10 minutes to arrive. I wait. Nothing. I refresh. Still nothing. I’m already sweating.
I call my friend, let’s call him Marcus. “Marcus, what’s the deal?” I ask. He says, “Dude, just use a temporary number for gaming account verification. It’s what we do now.” Which… yeah. Fair enough. But why? Why can’t I just play my game?
So I find this service. I get a temporary number. I verify. It works! I’m in! Victory! But wait—no. The game wants me to verify my email too. And then my social security number. And then my firstborn child. I’m not kidding. It felt like that.
A Tangent: The Time I Met a Verification Engineer
About three months ago, I was at a conference in Austin. There was this guy, let’s call him Dave. Dave was a verification engineer. I asked him, “Dave, why do you people make this so hard?” He looked at me and said, “Security, man. It’s all about security.” I said, “Dave, I just wanna play Skyrim.” He didn’t have an answer for that.
But here’s the thing, Dave. Security is important. I get it. But this? This is committment to insanity. I’m not saying throw security out the window. I’m saying, find a better way. Make it easier. Make it human.
Back to the Nightmare
So, I’m at it again. Verifying. Sweating. Cursing. It’s 11:30 PM, and I’m still not playing. My girlfriend walks in. “You’re still at this?” she asks. “Yeah,” I say. “It’s completley ridiculous.” She shakes her head and leaves. I don’t blame her.
Finally, after 36 hours, I’m in. I’m playing. I’m happy. But I’m also exhausted. And I’m pissed. Because this shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t take this long. It shouldn’t feel like an aquisition.
The Point? There Is No Point
I don’t know what the point is. Maybe the point is that the world is changing. Maybe the point is that I’m old. Maybe the point is that verification is here to stay, and I gotta deal with it.
But I don’t have to like it. And I don’t. I hate it. I hate every second of it. I hate the sweating. I hate the waiting. I hate the feeling of being physicaly and mentaly drained just to play a game.
So here’s to the future. May it be easier than this. May it be kinder. May it be less absurd. And may we all find a way to play our games without losing our minds.
About the Author
I’m Sarah, a senior magazine editor with 20+ years of experience. I’ve written for major publications, and I’ve seen it all. Well, not all. Just a lot. I live in New York with my girlfriend and our cat, Mr. Whiskers. I love games, I hate verification, and I always have an opinion. You can find more of my rants—er, I mean articles—here on fxtribune.com.
