Yoenis Cespedes is the world’s most influential human. He often causes otherwise fit and intelligent people to suffer temporary blindness, loss of memory and, put indelicately, episodic, on-demand stupidity.
And the proof is arriving early this year.
In last Sunday’s Post, Mets general manager Sandy Alderson was interviewed by Steve Serby, who asked Alderson if he had any problem with Cespedes, while on the disabled list last season, playing golf.
Alderson said no.
“I really don’t,” he said. “Last year there was an unfortunate juxtaposition between the golf and the leg injury that didn’t sit well with some fans and wasn’t looked on favorably by the media. But I don’t think there was any real connection between the two.”
Really? Truly? When Alderson found out Cespedes played golf that day, he was good with it? Did Cespedes establish a precedent? Are all injured Mets similarly entitled?
Cespedes was on the disabled list, unable to participate in a big league game by swinging a bat from a stance on a flat surface, but Alderson had no problem when he learned that Cespedes played a round of golf, swinging clubs from assorted stances on assorted angles, including practice swings, say, 200 times.
Sorry, not only don’t I believe that, I’m not sure why Alderson would want us to believe it.
An “unfortunate juxtaposition”? Sure was! Cespedes couldn’t play for the $25 million the Mets were paying him, but could play golf while being paid $25 million not to play due to injury.
So it looks as if we’re going to pick up where we left off last year, when SNY’s normally candid trio — Gary Cohen, Ron Darling and Keith Hernandez — repeatedly played us for blind, forgetful and stupid as they pandered to Cespedes’ career-long can’t-be-bothered minimalism.
How many times did they tell us Cespedes injured his leg, early in the season, sliding into second? One hundred, 200 times? They allowed us the imagery of Cespedes having been injured hustling a double.
How many times did they explain he was forced to slide into second because, as per his career habit, he didn’t bother to run to first, thus had to hit second sliding rather than standing? Anyone recall hearing that even once?
And that became a season-long theme — that “injured quad” that forced Cespdes to jog to first and jog after sloppily played balls and gappers — as if he hadn’t played that way his entire, four-team career!
Despite consistent, conspicuous evidence to the contrary, Cespedes was praised by Hernandez as “the smartest base runner on the team.” Darling gushed that Cespedes knows “when to turn it on” — code for “he didn’t at first bother to run.”
So now what? What happens, this season, when Cespedes dogs it on the bases and in the field? More pandering?
And what if — and this is a long shot — Alderson or manager Terry Collins prevail upon Cespedes to run at even a moderate pace to first or after balls he carelessly misplayed or are skipping toward the wall in left-center?
Will the Mets’ TV crew have to pretend he always played that way, always played to win?
Or will they have to point out he finally is playing as if the games count, thus contradicting their previous, viewer-insulting refusal to speak here-and-now self-evident truths — another “unfortunate juxtaposition” — thus apparently hoping that Cespedes also caused us to become blind, forgetful and stupid?
Amazing, what Cespedes does do to people. So be prepared. Or, better yet, “Fore!!!”
Couple of sweet change-ups were thrown at us Thursday:
As ESPN headed for commercials during Wisconsin-Michigan, it presented a posed photo of Wisconsin’s Nigel Hayes — smiling! He was smiling as if he were a pleasant young man!
That means ESPN (or Hayes) didn’t choose to have him pose as per ESPN’s norm — as some muscle-flexing, immodest, mean-mugging menace to society. Or someone — Hayes or on ESPN’s side — came up with a better idea, one that placed him and basketball in a good light.
Later, during MSG’s Rangers-Islanders, Joe Micheletti hit us with some good faith. After a puck jumped out of the Islanders’ defensive zone, Micheletti claimed the Rangers were the victims of the Barclay Center’s bad ice — isn’t he a rapper? — even cracking that the puck bounced so high someone “could’ve called for a fair catch.”
A replay then showed that the puck left the ice after it hit John Tavares’ stick. “I apologize,” said Micheletti, adding that in this case the puck’s flight had nothing to do with the ice.
Given that so many in-game analysts would prefer to have us believe what they say in defiance of what we saw, Micheletti, as my uncle would say, “Done good.”
Otherwise burdened by WFAN’s habit of misplacing tapes that reveal Mike “Let’s Be Honest” Francesa to be what WFAN can’t hide anyway, truth-seekers remain indebted to @SportsFunhouse on Twitter, which monitors and chronicles Fran-say-so’s wisdom and integrity.
A recent audio entry was of Francesa laughing at and mocking a caller’s comparison of this Super Bowl to the Muhammad Ali-George Foreman fight. Not even close, Francesa ridiculed.
Next heard was Francesa, two days later, comparing this Super Bowl as similar to the Ali-Foreman fight.
Brings to mind his Sunday morning NFL show when he touted a home favorite — the Raiders, if memory serves — later that day.
Soon, a caller disagreed, claiming the Raiders have too many significant injuries to even win, let alone cover. Naturally, Francesa interrupted, dismissing him as a know-nothing.
That night, on his Ch. 4 show, Francesa reported the Raiders had lost, adding that it was no surprise to him given that they had so many injuries.
Though sports teams’ expenses don’t seem to be a problem with American universities that otherwise are having financial trouble keeping the dorms heated, professors paid and paying students enrolled, let’s have a women’s basketball game, Washington State vs. Maine, both representing taxpayer-funded schools.
Washington State’s roster has been recruited from Australia, France, Greece, Macedonia, Portugal, Serbia and Bulgaria. Maine’s recruits include three from Spain, two from Croatia, and one each from Italy, Austria and Sweden.
Speaking of women’s hoops, Monday’s big one — UConn going for its 100th straight at home vs. No. 6 South Carolina on ESPN2, began at the student-athlete (and everyone else) friendly time of 9:15 p.m., ending well after 11.
The women’s game before that on ESPN2 — Texas-Florida State — began at 7 p.m.
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