The film “Fifty Shades of Grey” premiered last weekend, and it lured many people in with its provocative advertising with the tagline: “Every fairytale has a dark side.” But law enforcement agencies around the world are reminding couples that they don’t live in a fairytale, and that the film may not be the safest choice of inspiration for bedroom antics.
The London Fire Brigade did not beat around the bush in a sex safety report posted on its website Tuesday: “As the second ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ film hits cinemas we are once again warning about people being stuck or trapped in objects as penis ring removals soar.”
In other words, size does matter. London firefighters responded to nine penis ring incidents from April 2016 through this month, which is double the number of times they’ve had to help men with penis rings from 2014 to 2016. Handcuff rescues increased, too. Firefighters helped 27 people after getting stuck in handcuffs in the 2015/2016 fiscal year, an increase from 15 incidents in the 2014/2015 fiscal year.
With hundreds of incidents each year, it’s also common for people to get stuck in household items, like washing machines, sewing machines and heaters.
The fire brigade even posted helpful graphics on its website to help London residents understand how much these “Fifty Shades” incidents cost taxpayers — each rescue costs at least £326, or about $404.
‘Fifty Shades’ incidents have cost the taxpayer £830,000 from 2012 to 2017, London Fire Brigade, Jan. 14, 2017. Photo: London Fire Brigade
Total number of penis ring removals by firefighters from 2012-2017, London Fire Brigade, Feb. 14, 2017. Photo: London Fire Brigade
In Zagreb, Croatia, the fire department took a polite approach with a Facebook post asking couples to be careful with their more imaginative endeavors: “Feel free to have fun and be creative, but be careful. Just in case, we are here. Last year we have had only four interventions at people’s homes with people stuck in handcuffs…”
But the London Fire Brigade perhaps had the most practical advice:: “If the ring doesn’t fit, don’t force it on.”
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