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Updated 2 hours ago
There are some things death cannot erase.
For Harold Haslett, love is one of them.
Over the past 13 years, Haslett has been relentless in his quest to keep the memory of his wife, Mary Patricia Haslett, alive.
From a room dedicated to Mary Pat at his home in New Kensington, to paying thousands of dollars for countless memoriams in her honor, Haslett has let his love and devotion for Mary Pat, who died from complications from a lung disease at the age of 48, proudly shine in color and in black-and-white.
Twice a year, on Mother's Day and Valentine's Day, Mary Pat gets a full-page homage in the Valley News Dispatch edition of the Tribune-Review. On Christmas and Easter, she appears in smaller ads, alongside her husband's parents.
“From what I understand, nobody has ever done a full-page memoriam for anybody in the history of this paper, and this paper goes back over a hundred years,” Haslett, 73, said. “In my eyes, she made history here.”
The memoriams are different, yet the same. Mary Pat's smiling face graces each one, but the designs surrounding her portrait have a few alterations. On Mother's Day, a trellis sits behind her portrait. On Valentine's Day, the words “You Are Very Special To Me!” adorn the top of the ad in a large, glittery font.
Cat Silvasy, a former graphic designer at the newspaper, collaborated with Haslett to come up with some of the ad designs.
Haslett's commitment to his wife made quite the impression on the artist, who said Mary Pat has gained a certain level of posthumous fame.
“I think, at one point in time, Harold was quoted as saying that he wanted to make his wife a star, which I think he has,” Silvasy said. “It seems like Mary Pat's an old friend. She became more than just an ad that I was doing.”
On what would have been Mary Pat's 50th birthday, Haslett decided to do something even more special.
He took out a two-page honorarium in the newspaper, complete with love poems and prayers.
The centerpiece was a large heart pieced together with 28 photos of Mary Pat from the time she was an infant into adulthood. Each photo was surrounded by a smaller heart with roses circling them. Around the heart were poems, hearts and roses.
He saved for seven months in order to buy it. It cost him $3,500.
“For a bum like me, that was a lot of money,” Haslett said.
But Haslett didn't stop there.
On July 13, 2004, Haslett threw a 50th birthday party for Mary Pat at the former Clementine's Family Restaurant in Lower Burrell. “Happy 50th Birthday Mary Pat from all who dearly love you” ran on the restaurant's marquee — for 50 hours.
“That holds special memories,'” said Haslett, laughing. “I'm sure somebody thinks ‘Man, that guy's out there,' but it's for her.”
Haslett said he can afford to spend thousands of dollars on ads to honor his wife because he doesn't really spend money and is more inclined to save.
“I'll bet you I've got $10,000 in memorials … it might be $20,000,” Haslett said. “I don't know. I know it's a lot.”
A life together
They met in 1972 by chance.
Haslett was selling his car, and the buyer ended up being Mary Pat's sister-in-law.
When he dropped by, he unknowingly caught his future wife's eye.
Mary Pat's sister-in-law later called Haslett under pretense there was something wrong with the car.
“She just wanted to know if I wanted to see Mary,” Haslett said.
She was 18 and he was 29. They dated for 11 years.
They would drive around and Mary Pat would ask Haslett what MPH stood for on his speedometer. He would say miles-per-hour.
She would say he was wrong.
That went on for a while. Finally, he bit. What does it mean?
She said, “Mary Pat Haslett.”
They wed on Sept. 2, 1983, and were married for 19 years.
They lived in a duplex in New Kensington. Harold drove trucks for Allegheny Ludlum and Mary Pat worked at various car dealerships.
When Mary Pat was about 35, everything changed.
She started to have trouble breathing. Haslett thought she was just out of shape, but her condition worsened.
Mary Pat went to a doctor and took a pulmonary function test. The doctor said she had a lung problem and referred her to UPMC Presbyterian hospital; doctors there said she needed a lung transplant.
Before that, Mary Pat had dealt with severe migraines and also had a hysterectomy.
“She just went through so much,” Haslett said. “Oh sweet Lord, she went through so much.”
Mary Pat was diagnosed with idiopathic interstitial pulmonary fibrosis, with hypertension and myopathy.
Haslett keeps the name of the diagnosis on a piece of paper in his wallet.
“I didn't want to forget it,” he said.
Mary Pat was put on a transplant waiting list. Then came a call: a 16-year-old girl from Ohio had died in a car wreck and her left lung was available.
The Hasletts went to Citizens General Hospital in New Kensington to await a medical helicopter, but it never came. An ambulance driver overheard their plight, offered them a lift, and they were on their way to UPMC Presby.
When they arrived at the hospital, Mary Pat wanted her stuffed Garfield toy.
Hospital staff stuck it in a sterile plastic bag and brought it in the operating room. Haslett has the stuffed animal to this day.
“It was just out of the ordinary,” Haslett said.
Mary Pat received her transplant May 6, 1991.
She lived 11 years with her new lung before dying of complications from her disease in their home on Feb. 15, 2003.
More than words
Mary Pat is still very much an “active” member of the Haslett household. A visit to the duplex Haslett once shared with his wife proves that.
Haslett used to rent out one side of the duplex, but got away from that. Now it's his Mary Pat room.
Inside, covering couches and tables, are large, framed photos of Mary Pat from different points in her life, various love tokens, toy animals and flowers. It's stuffed to the brim.
“I can't even get anymore in,” Haslett said.
Among the treasure trove are personalized license plates that sport phrases such as “LUVU4FR,” crosses and angels. He compiled his collection from various places, picking up things as he saw them.
Eventually, Haslett wondered what he could do to top the two-page ad he made for Mary Pat in the newspaper.
He decided to upgrade her final resting place.
The private estate at Greenwood Memorial Park in Lower Burrell features two monuments: one with a portrait of Mary Pat and Haslett and the other bearing a portrait of Haslett's parents. There are also white marble angels and doves. The marble was imported from Italy.
It is a sight to behold. Strangers have even stopped to ask Haslett about it.
“I have talked to people end on end, just tell them all about it and they just can't get over it,” Haslett said of the grave site. He had Mary Pat exhumed and moved there.
CMS East Inc., the corporation that owns the park, has 26 locations in five states.
George Stoecklein, the president of Greenwood Memorial Park, said none of the other parks owned by the company have estates like Haslett's.
Stoecklein, who helped design the estate, said it was all created in Mary Pat's memory. Take the gravesite's center bench, for instance.
The bench is 7 feet long, its base is 13 feet long, and there are 54 words on the front inscription. Mary Pat's date of birth is 7-13-1954.
“He was very particular,” Stoecklein said. “Certain things had to be certain numbers.”
The estate cost Haslett $187,313.
Haslett didn't plan on it, but Mary Pat's birthday, July 13, appears in that number. Also, Mary Pat was 18 when she met her husband.
“It's kind of off the wall,” Haslett said, “but it works.”
Haslett still lives in the duplex, but will move into his parents' old home soon.
When he goes, he'll bring his collection with him. And he'll continue to take out memorials in his wife's honor for as long as he can.
“I have all these memories and I feel so bad for her, so I guess that's why I do what I do to keep her memory alive,” Haslett said.
“To the Average Joe, she's nobody special. But not to me.”
Madasyn Czebiniak is a Tribune-Review staff writer. Reach her at 724-226-4702 or mczebiniak@tribweb.com.
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