Re: What do we say to their children? Feb. 4

What do we say to their children? Feb. 4

Thank you to Wendy Gillis and the Star for bringing the important issue of children’s grief to our attention in the aftermath of the Quebec mosque attack. We often fail to consider the unique experience of grief in children. The fact that children’s grief looks so different from adults’ makes it even more confusing and challenging for parents/caregivers to know what to say when tragedy strikes.

Each of these children will grieve their father’s deaths differently from one another because each child has a unique relationship to their parent and it is the loss of that bond that is being grieved.

Many children or adolescents who experience the early loss of a parent or primary caregiver are at increased risk for developing anxiety and/or depression, feelings of social and emotional isolation, lower academic performance and/or engagement in harmful or high risk activities.

When we overlook the significant impact of loss on children, we miss opportunities to support them which can exacerbate their feelings of loneliness and confusion. Responsive support from family, friends and community, as well as meaningful interventions that may include grief counselling and support groups, can help children, youth and families learn to navigate grief together so that they feel less alone when the unthinkable happens.

Sarah Henderson, executive director, Dr. Jay Children’s Grief Centre, Toronto

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