It’s nearly my birthday. For the last several years, I have marked this event with small cash donations given directly to the homeless and struggling. I set out from my home and ask those who appear less fortunate if they could use a few dollars. I keep going until the money I’ve set aside for the occasion is gone. It makes me feel good and I appreciate their surprise. My dilemma: would I be better to give my money to a charity that would use it more holistically?

Alice put the same question to the Cheshire Cat: “Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cat.

So. Where do you want to get to with your birthday benevolence?

If your goal is to provide warm beds, nutritious meals and a safe community, then you’d be better giving it to the Fred Victor Centre or your local Out of the Cold. If helping street youth is your passion, write a cheque to the Yonge Street Mission’s Evergreen Centre. Perhaps you’re interested in community development? If so, a good choice might be the 40 Oaks Centre in Regent Park. Or maybe your appetite is for ensuring families have adequate food to get from one pay cheque to the next? If so, direct your birthday bucks to Daily Bread, the Stop, or a school breakfast program in your neighbourhood.

Any of these options would be more efficient, focused and equitable than the approach you’re taking.

But that’s not the whole story. It is, after all, your birthday, and birthdays are a time for a small dose of reckless abandon. Birthdays call for cake and ice cream, an extra glass (or two) of wine, and whatever else makes you feel good about surviving another year. And that is the category into which you should put your annual foray into one-on-one benevolence.

All of life can’t be about efficiency, focus or equitability. There are times for excess, for unfocused enjoyment, and even for preferential treatment. As you so honestly note, “It makes me feel good” — and there’s nothing wrong with that. You know that the few dollars you pass around aren’t going to significantly change anyone’s life — but then, neither is your birthday cake. What those dollars might do, however, is give a tiny bit of optional income to a few folks who don’t have many discretionary moments. Perhaps they’ll buy coffee and a doughnut at Timmies. Perhaps they’ll use it for even less healthful alternatives. But just because a person is poor doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be able to make choices. As long as your money is offered with dignity and a smile and without expectations, there’s no harm done to either donor or recipient.

But the really good news is that, unlike Alice, you don’t need to go down one road or the other. You can travel both. By all means hit the streets on your natal day. Better that than the casino. But the other 364, please do what you can to support accountable, focused and efficient projects that truly change the lives of needful people.

Send your questions to star.ethics@yahoo.ca

Send your questions to star.ethics@yahoo.ca

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