They say the worst thing you can do with President Trump is to normalize him, to which I respond, how?
The president allegedly takes a medication prescribed off-label to rescue his hair that may also destroy his libido and give him a runny nose, which explains the sniffing at least. The story, courtesy of Trump’s long-haired mad scientist doctor, who says Trump also takes Propecia, or finasteride, was laid like an egg on Wednesday night.
Trump is like the wonderful egg machines you find in European breakfast buffets. You reach inside the stainless steel thing — it looks like a glass rice cooker on its hind legs — and pluck soft-boiled eggs from little cradles. Science keeps them hot and runny. Trump stories are like that, the buffet always open.
By Monday morning when this column appears in print, Trump and his chickens will have laid a dozen more. At this point, print is not just dead but retroactively so. As for online, in the 10 minutes since typing that, I learned the Trump wall with Mexico will be partly invisible, and three other scandalous things, only two about Russia.
Here’s what I know. Trump will alter the world until he stops. So don’t tone it down, as two male columnists have just advised me, unasked. Fight back but wisely, don’t thrash about as Trump does.
The bright side of Trump is that I like human beings much more than I did on Jan. 19. Almost all his detractors seem delightful to me now in comparison to him and his more violent voters.
George W. Bush was the picture of benign idiocy at the Inauguration ceremony on Jan. 20. I watched him struggling with his clear plastic rain poncho while Laura ignored him and I felt a twang. Remember Dick Cheney with the man-sized safe in his office? Awww.
The barbarians are inside the gate. In 2008 I watched Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin speak at the Republican convention and knew that something dreadful was approaching. Who are these people? Don’t let them in, I thought.
Now I wonder if Canadians might someday catch the fever. Why did NDP MP Nathan Cullen call the prime minister a liar, outside the House of Commons of course? Is he doing a Rep. Joe Allen calling “You lie” to President Obama or does he really think a time of extreme political crisis is the right moment for a confused electoral reform that fascinates Ottawa and bores Canadians?
Why did PC leadership oaf Kevin O’Leary post a video of himself blasting with a handgun and a machine gun on Thursday, literally during the funeral of three Muslim victims of a Quebec mass killer?
The video had the bullets aimed almost at the camera, showing us the last thing some of the murdered men would have seen before they died. It was the same day the U.S. killed regulations making it harder for mentally ill people to buy guns.
Kind Canadian journalists assumed this was Inadequate Man’s bad timing. But this seems implausible.
Prime Minister Trudeau will have to wrestle the Trump beast at some point. Let him come to us. Don’t ask Trudeau to immediately tear up the Safe Third Country Agreement. Why poke the U.S. with a stick right now? Trump might close the border. Surely, let the animal exhaust himself first.
In the meantime, let’s search for and rescue refugees from Ghana who have fled the U.S. to walk across the frozen wasteland of the Manitoba border. If you think we should let them die the same way Mexicans die of heat and thirst on the American border bonelands, you aren’t a Canadian. I’m from Kapuskasing, where it’s -32C with the wind chill. You try it.
I live on the political centre-left, having moved from the left when I saw the federal NDP abandon women on the issue of gun control. But right or left seems beside the point now. There’s a difference between freedom of speech and hate speech, between hard right and violent racist malevolent right, between idealistic left and idiotic.
I now just ask if people are motivated by the hatred they contain. Most are not, and that’s the truth of the matter. Canadians and Americans are good people. But an ill wind blew their way.
hmallick@thestar.ca
hmallick@thestar.ca
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