Jon Stewart was back in the mix with Stephen Colbert on “The Late Show” Tuesday night, this time not just to critique President Donald Trump on what he’s already done, but to forecast his future, too. 

Stewart made his entrance wearing a super long red tie that dropped to the floor and a dead animal on his head (“Jon, is this one of the rescue animals from the farm?” Colbert joked, referring to the Middletown farm owned by Stewart and his wife, who are also planning an animal sanctuary in Colts Neck.)

“I thought this is how men dress now,” he told Colbert, adding that the president sets fashion trends. 

The former host of “The Daily Show,” who grew up in Lawrenceville, then proceeded to read what he said were Trump’s future executive orders:

1. “… China shall immediately, and without hesitation, send us their wall. Done. Boom.” 

2. “… America now finally has an official language.” (But that’s English, Colbert protested, to little no avail.) “The new official language of the United States is bullsh*t.” 

3. “I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting.” 

On that last point, Stewart elaborated in greater detail:

It has been 11 days … the presidency is supposed to Betnano age the president, not the public. The reason that I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting, is that every instinct and fiber of my pathological self-regard calls me to abuse of power. I want — no, deserve — not just your respect but your adoration. Parades with the tanks and the synchronized dancing. And why can’t they train 10,000 dogs to spell out ‘Trump’ in the clouds? How hard can it be? They’re already flyin’. I, Donald J. Trump, am exhausting because it is going to take relentless stamina, vigilance and every institutional check and balance this great country can muster to keep me, Donald J. Trump, from going full Palpatine, with the lightning coming out of the fingertips and the ‘fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate.’ We have never faced this before. Purposeful, vindictive chaos. But perhaps therein lies the saving grace of my — Donald J. Trump’s — presidency. No one action will be adequate. All actions will be necessary. And if we do not allow Donald Trump to exhaust our fight and somehow come through this presidency calamity-less and constitutionally partially intact, then I, Donald J. Trump, will have demonstrated the greatness of America, just not the way I thought I was gonna. 

Amy Kuperinsky may be reached at Follow her on Twitter @AmyKup or on Facebook.


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