Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the host of the Laugh Track column, a man whose handwriting is illegible …. Mike McIntyre.
Thank you Cleveland! Two Ohio lawmakers say the problem with public education is that students don’t learn to read and write cursive anymore. They’ve introduced a bill to make cursive compulsory. Should it pass, perhaps the first midterm assignment could be a flawless cursive letter that reads:
Dear Legislators,
I hope this finds you well. Any chance you could now work on fixing Ohio’s unconstitutional school funding formula?
At Hilarities: Kevin Bozeman has some thoughts on marriage.
“I’m not against marriage at all. I’m against the people who get married. They’re the worst. Did you ever go to a wedding and know it’s two people that don’t belong together but you don’t say anything because you really want cake? ‘No way they’re gonna make it, but that’s buttercream frosting!’ “
He contends marriage is for ugly people, because beautiful people leave when there’s trouble, because they have other options.
“Ugly people don’t have other options. There are no fish in the sea for ugly people,” he says. “It’s just that one ugly-ass barracuda that they snagged with that jagged-ass tooth.”
Bozeman started his stand-up career nearly 20 years ago after watching Def Comedy Jam and deciding to try an open-mic night at a comedy club in Madison, Wisconsin.
Catch Bozeman at Hilarities at 8 p.m. Thursday ($23), 7:30 and 10 p.m. Friday ($25), 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday ($28), and 7 p.m. Sunday ($18) at the club, inside Pickwick & Frolic restaurant, 2035 East Fourth St., Cleveland. Call 216-736-4242.
At the Improv: The always-popular Aries Spears headlines this weekend.
He’s a big draw, but not as big as Jay-Z.
“I hope I get to be that famous when my career is over,” he says in his stand-up. (We’ve omitted some words, so if you’re offended by cursing and such, be warned.) “He has surpassed being a rapper. He’s a rock star. Like you know you’re huge when you can sell out Africa.”
Catch Spears at the Improv at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, 7:30 and 10 p.m. Friday, 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday, and 7 p.m. Sunday (all $25). The Improv is at 1148 Main Ave., next to Shooters on the west bank of Cleveland’s Flats. Call 216-696-4677.
Fluffy time: Gabriel Iglesias can make you smile just by standing onstage. He’s at the State Theatre 8 p.m. Thursday, March 2, celebrating his two decades as a stand-up comic with his “Fluffymania” tour. As you may remember, he claims he’s not fat, just “fluffy.”
Tickets are $35 to $85, and VIP packages (you meet him, get a picture and some swag) are available in each section ($110-$185). Call 216-241-6000 for tickets and 216-771-8403 for information, or go to playhousesquare.org.
Our editors found this article on this site using Google and regenerated it for our readers.
